From Russia With Rob

Recently I stumbled upon a message board with a thread conducting a poll. The poll's question was, "If you have been to/live in Moscow have you been mugged." My answer to this question was yes and I wrote a detailed reply on it and how to prevent danger and loss of possessions.

I am from Moscow and have been mugged before. I am Russian. Robbers don't discriminate between tourist or native Muscovite in the middle of the night. They seek opportunities to attack their victims when it's dark and when they notice a victim is wandering alone in some dark alley. Daytime occurrences are not unheard of either.

I had a friend who was attacked in broad daylight by several guys. He was sitting on a park bench with his girlfriend's purse and bags while she went across the street to pick something up from a bakery stand.

Let me tell you about one of my muggings. First of all I don't consider myself easy prey nor am I arrogant and willingly seek danger. I am usually a cautious fellow who happened to be drunk one night and lost his way. With that said street thugs these days are increasingly bold and will take great risk just to rob you of some petty cash.

So here goes: I had just left a restaurant/bar with a bunch of friends and everyone was parting ways and going home. My cousin and a bunch of his friends squeezed into a little Mitsubishi Eclipse. I didn't really feel like sitting or laying across the legs of my friends and their girls so I opted to walk home. I wore my cellphone on my belt. In my left hand I carried two Baltika beer mugs I had purchased for a few bucks a piece as souvenirs and over my right shoulder I had my camera bag along with passport, cash, credit cards, etc. The walk should have taken around 10-15 minutes, but because I was drunk and disoriented I took a wrong turn down a dark alley. It seemed like the whole thing was staged with almost every street lamp out and rows of conspicuous cars lined up with black tint. I passed a building with a jungle gym and three dudes in black clothing sitting on top. They seemed to be murmuring something. No sooner had I passed them when I heard loud footsteps behind me. I peeked over my shoulder and noticed all three running full speed in my direction. I was wise enough to carry a Spiderco blade with me and quickly opened it in my vest pocket in anticipation of an attack.

I kept walking slowly and didn't show any sign of panic. Panic is the worst thing you can do to yourself. If an enemy detects fear in you they will pursue you down even harder and take advantage of your weakness. As soon as they caught up with me they began punching me from all sides. One of them sprayed an entire can of mace all over my face and torso. My adrenaline began pumping fast and I received a surge of energy. I felt no pain from their blows nor did the mace have any effect on me. One of them was able to pull my camera bag away from me.

At this point my fight or flight mechanism kicked in. I decided to stay my ground and fight all three of them to the death. They stole everything I had in that bag. I had nothing else to lose and I was enraged. I beckoned them to attack me and revealed my blade. One of them lunged forward and I thrust my blade into his abdomen. At this point all three of them panicked and decided to split up and run in different directions. This was where they screwed up. I immediately gave chase after the guy with my bag wearing only sandals. Not only was I drunk, had a full stomach from eating a large meal, and had mace all over myself, but I was also wearing sandals. However they were a good pair because they were made of durable leather with secure straps. There was no way they were going to fall off me feet. I continued pursuing the assailant with wild frenzy. He ran in the direction of Chistie Prudi, which is kind of like a park with a long trail with building and streets on either side. We both hopped the fence (it was only waist height or less) and continued bolting down the path. I was gaining on him and showed no signs of fatigue. At this point I bellowed at him to drop my bag or I would kill him. As I was almost about to grab him he broke and decided that my bag wasn't worth losing his life. He dropped it to the ground and kept running. I stopped chasing him and picked up my bag.

I went to find a bench to sit down because by this point my adrenaline was wearing off and the burning sensation of the mace was kicking in. My nose was running and I had tears in my eyes from its effect. Earlier I had ran past a pair of dudes and their girls. The girls were scared away by the terrifying event and the dudes did nothing to aid me when I asked them to intercept the robber before he passed them. I sat down on a bench and the two bystanders approached me. They were upset I scared their dates away. Oh boy I thought to myself not another fight.

I could've care less what they thought and I was prepared to be attacked again. This time by them. They probably would have succeeded where the other three robbers failed because I was momentarily blind at this stage. They continued to antagonize me by attempting to probe into my bag while I was holding it. They wanted to see what was inside that was so important. I told them to back away and clenched my blade with a firm grip so they could see. After the entire ordeal had ended and I was back home I noticed I was missing my cellphone. I was pissed because I had like 100 numbers of cute girls stored inside of it. I am not sure where I lost it. It may have been snatched when I initially got jumped, while I was chasing the dude, or by the probing hands of the pseudo-bystanders who were as keen to rob me as the three thugs before them.

Either way let this be a lesson to you in your adventures and escapades while in Moscow or anyplace in Russia for that matter. Always be prepared for the worst, never show fear, and fight back like a madman.

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